Who takes care of you while you are taking care of him?

I am tired. I need a break. I need help. Day in and day out, you have the same schedule. You wake up early and go to bed late. When do you get to be you? When do you get to do the things you love to do? Today I was on a Zoom call with a group of caregivers called Cabin Chat. The special guest was Martel Catalano from Beyond My attle– https://www.beyondmybattle.org/. This session focused on helping promote conversation on caregiver stress and the importance of self-care. 

In Martel’s presentation, she talked about four types of stress. Biological Stress -physical and psychological. Emotional Stress – anxiety depression. Social Stress – embarrassment, envy. Cognitive Stress – planning, paying bills. Prosocial Stress – helping others, understanding.

Martel explained that there are situations where all four types of stresses overlapped. This scenario is with a doctor’s appointment for the person you are taking care of:

When planning a doctor’s appointment – Cognitive

Afraid of what you might hear from the doctor – Emotional

Having empathy for how your loved ones might feel – Prosocial

Taking your loved one to the doctor – Social 

You suddenly have a headache – Biological

Martel suggested that to help alleviate stress the caregiver should first recognize the stressor; rather than ignore it. Her quote, “Name it to tame it,” said it all. Caregivers sometimes suffered from burnout and guilt. Some types of burnout come in the form of mental exhaustion, fatigue, anxiety. The caregivers feel guilt when they take care of themselves amidst the responsibility of taking care of another. But caregivers have to take time for themselves. According to Audre Lorde, caring for myself is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation.

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Caregivers need to create personal space and time for themselves. Caregivers should practice taking deep breaths to relieve tension. Martel recommended that caregivers be with themselves by being aware, feel their feet on the ground, and being aware of their body at the moment. They should also limit exposure to issues that are similar to theirs that are causing the stress…misery loves company. Caregivers should find their coping mechanism to relieve stress. Elizabeth Scott said that maintaining a sense of humor and cultivating optimism, where the situation doesn’t change, but your perception of it does, can help you to cope with stress in What Coping Strategies Are Effective to Manage Stress

Laughter is the best medicine, according to Andy Griffiths, and laughter sure helps to relieve stress.

Okay, I said it!

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